Because Stone Cold Said So
The show opens in the Manhattan Center with Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross. This was so cool! I had no idea the show was in two places. It is clear that this episode isn’t going to have a lot of quality wrestling matches, and that most of the time will be spent promoting the Royal Rumble and honoring the legends of the last 25 years.
Back at the Barclays Center, Shane and Stephanie McMahon bring out Vince and give him a plaque to thank him for everything he has done over the last 25 years. They seem to be pretty proud of it and they’re grayious toward their father, who just says “That’s it?” In response. He plays up the heel character from the past 25 years, saying that he deserves more.
The glass breaks, and Vince gulps. His biggest nemesis, Stone Cold Steve Austin, comes out to the ring. Before Austin even says a word, Vince is already preaching about how he’s now a member of AARP, lives in a retirement home, and has heart problems and arthritis. He doesn’t have a problem with offering up his son Shane, who is in his “prime”, to take a stunner.
So, Stone Cold gives Shane a stunner. Vince seemingly dodges a bullet. He pulls out a couple beers and they clink them together. Stone Cold didn’t let McMahon leave before giving the owner of WWE a stunner of his own. This was a great way to kick off the show, as it reminded fans of one of the most important rivalries in Raw’s 25 year history.
Nia Jax, Alicia Fox, Sonya Deville, and Mandy Rose vs. Sasha Banks, Bayley, Mickie James, and Asuka
Winners: Sasha Banks, Bayley, Mickie James, and Asuka
At the beginning of the match, Michael Cole notes that on the first ever episode of Raw, no women were on the card. After thinking about this, I’m not surprised, as women’s wrestling was barely existent at the time, but pointing this out helped fans realize how far women’s wrestling has come in the past 25 (though there’s still a way to go).
While the in-ring performance wasn’t poor, not much in this match stood out. However, the post match attack from Asuka really emphasized the whole “every woman for themselves” aspect of the Royal Rumble, something that seemed to be lacking as women teamed up every week over the past few months. Asuka came out looking really good, and she’s a favorite to win the battle royal match for sure.
Kurt Angle is backstage, talking to a referee. In comes several legends, one after another: Harvey Whippleman, a manager and referee (and occasional wrestler) from the 1990s; Brooklyn Brawler, WWE’s most famous jobber; Teddy Long, former manager and a terrible Smackdown manager; Brother Love (Bruce Prichard), former heel manager and Vince’s right hand man for years, who now runs a successful podcast called “Something to Wrestle With”; and the Boogeyman, a wrestler in the 2000s who was known to scare his opponents and liked to eat worms.
The Undertaker Returns
In what seemed to be an underwhelming appearance, the Undertaker came to the Manhattan Center to a crowd that was enthusiastic, but not as much as I though they’d be. Introduced by announcing legend Howard Finkel, Taker talked about his legacy in the WWF/WWE. Most fans hoped for a special announcement at this appearance (i.e., one more match at Mania), but were, again, underwhelmed.
The APA plays poker with legends and today’s superstars
Throughout the show, backstage segments of a poker game between APA and several superstars and legends are aired. First, Heath Slater and Rhyno, MVP, and the “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase join in, and later, Jeff Hardy, the Usos, Titus Worldwide, the New Day, and Natalya are all a part of the game.
As brief two minute clips are aired, it’s revealed that Heath Slater lost his family’s savings (come on, he has kids!) and then cheated to try to get it back. Dana Brooke’s numbers show that he cheated, and JBL states that they should solve this in the ring. After the teams leave, DiBiase reveals that he has a Royal Flush, meaning he gets all the money. Cue Ron Simmons with a “DAMN.”
Titus O’Neil vs. Heath Slater
Again, not a match to show off in-ring skills. The match quickly erupted into a brawl between O’Neil and Crews and Slater and Rhyno. Dubba Ray and Devon Dudley run out to the ring, and Titus Worldwide and Rhyno throw Slater into the ring with the Dudleys. He receives a Whassup and a 3D through a table.
WWE welcomes out several of the best general managers in history: John Laurinaitis, former Senior VP of Talent Relations and 2011-2012 Raw GM who promoted “People Power”; William Regal, legendary wrestler and former Raw GM from 2007-2009, who also has been the NXT GM, trainer, and recruiter since 2014; Eric Bischoff, WCW GM and Vince’s enemy during the Monday Night Wars, who also was Raw’s GM from 2002-2005; and current Smackdown GM and legend Daniel Bryan.
The Miz vs. Roman Reigns (Intercontinental Championship match)
Winner: The Miz
This match was probably the best match on the show. When Miz’s beloved Miztourage was causing distractions, they were sent to the back. Miz capitalized on this distraction, giving Reigns a Skull-Crushing Finale. Reigns kicks out, but when Miz runs him into the exposed turnbuckle and gives him another Skull-Crushing Finale, he gets the pin, crowning a new IC champ.
It’s great to see Miz back with the title. No matter how much he boasts about it, he really does bring relevance and prestige to the Intercontinental Championship. He got a huge pop, of course, because he took the title from Roman Reigns, but he’s the one who deserves it anyway.
Christian’s Peep Show
Christian returns to the ring to host his talk show segment, the Peep Show. It’s noted that his tag partner in the past, Edge, isn’t there due to prior obligations. It would’ve been great to see those two in the ring together again with their childish, yet hilarious antics. Christian invites out his guests, Jason Jordan and Seth Rollins.
Jordan gets tons of boos as he thanks his father like always, and it isn’t long until the Bar come out to talk to the tag champs. They get a “you suck” chant going for Jason Jordan, much like Angle’s. This seems to fit perfectly—if he plays his cards right, he could have the complaining gimmick down and whine about how he doesn’t actually suck, just like his “dad”.
Alexa Bliss and Charlotte confront each other backstage. Charlotte denounces Bliss, saying that the only reason she’s Raw Champion is because Charlotte is on Smackdown. Charlotte then joined her father for a “Woo!”. It was cool to see this confrontation between WWE’s two best female superstars, as well as another appearance from Ric Flair.
Bray Wyatt vs. Matt Hardy
Winner: Bray Wyatt
This match seemed like not only a filler for the Manhattan Center, who was growing aggravated at the amount of time they had to wait between matches and appearances, but also anti-climactic for this storyline. Hardy and Wyatt had been given a significant amount of TV time to build the “Woken” Matt character, and it just seemed to be thrown away in a match.
Of all the times where Bray needed a win to keep his credibility, this was not one. Matt Hardy is the one who needed this win for his new gimmick, and allowing him to lose in his first feud since the Woken debut just throws all that out the window.
WWE brings out some of the legendary women in WWE: Trish Stratus, former Hardcore Champion and 7-time Women’s Champion and Hall of Famer; the Bella Twins, 3-time Divas Champions (Nikki 2x, Brie 1x); Former Divas Champion Kelly Kelly; Torrie Wilson, who competed from 1999-2008; Terri Runnels, a former Hardcore Champion who competed in WWE from 1996-2004; Jaqueline, former Cruiserweight Champion, two-time Women’s champion, and Hall of Famer; Michelle McCool, a two-time Divas and Women’s Champion; Maryse, two-time Divas Champion and manager of the Miz; and Maria Kanellis, who competed from 2004-2010 and is now back (now inactive due to pregnancy).
Elias makes the list and confronts John Cena
Elias is walking out to the ring from backstage when he meets up with Chris Jericho. He calls Elias a stupid idiot in song and then jokes that he won’t add him to the list, but then he does. This short backstage appearance just shows that Jericho may be the king of comebacks. I did notice that he was wearing a Bullet Club-style shirt that says “Alpha Club”, a nod to his recent competition with Kenny Omega in NJPW.
Elias comes out to the ring and sings about how he’s better than all of the legends. He posts out Jimmu Fallon in the crowd, and then starts verbally attacking John Cena. Cena comes out to the ring and they get into it, proving Elias to be on top going into the Rumble. I think this is a great way for Cena to put over Elias without having to face him in a match. Elias gets a bit of star power by being associated with Cena.
Mark Henry meets up with the Godfather backstage, and the Godfather introduces Henry to a woman he came with named Olivia. The Godfather tells about how Henry used to be called “Sexual Chocolate”, and Henry hits on Olivia. Insulted, the Godfather introduces Olivia as his wife.
AJ dismisses Charly Caruso and is interviewed by Mean Gene Okerlund, who is arguably the best interviewer in history. He says he’s going to beat Kami (Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn) at the Rumble before telling Gene he loves him and leaving.
DX is back home
Triple H and Shawn Michaels come out to the ring in Manhattan and recall some of their favorite Raw memories, all of which have to be censored by one another because they aren’t PG (of course). They talk about the history of DX, and then remind fans that they didn’t come alone. Cue the New Age Outlaws, X Pac, and Razor Ramon.
Then, the Balor Club comes out. I don’t know how I didn’t see this coming, but it was so cool to see DX/the Kliq share a Too Sweet in the middle of a WWE ring. This moment was definitely memorable, but as soon as DX announces they have two words for you, the Revival interrupts. They don’t even say anything, they just attack the Good Brothers.
Last week was the perfect setup by Dash and Dawson to be demolished by legends. Not long after the match starts, is hit with a Magic Killer, giving the pin. Not a minute later, Razor Ramon throws a toothpick in Scott Dawson’s face, and X Pac and the Outlaws take turns performing their finishing moves on him. Dash Wilder recieves a Sweet Chin Music and a Pedigree, followed by a Coup De Grace from Finn Balor, and if you’re not down with that, they’ve got two words for ya.
If this isn’t an endorsement of Balor (and the Balor Club) from Triple H, I don’t know what is.
Confrontation between Kane, Strowman, and Lesnar
Angle brings out several legends as well as current superstars to surround the ring in preparation for Kane, Braun Strowman, and Brock Lesnar to all be in the same place at the same time. One by one, each contender comes to the ring, with Brock coming in last. While Kane watches Lesnar come out, Strowman attacks him from behind, then going after the champion himself.
Lesnar is laid out after being sent through the announcer’s table, and it’s looking good for Braun Strowman going into this Sunday. Never had Brock Lesnar been dominated in this way before, and it actually seems like he could lose the title come the Rumble.
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