WrestleMania 34 Predictions

source: WWE

This year’s WrestleMania has arguably the most stacked card ever, and even thinking about the 5-hour show (not even counting the 2 hour pre-show) leaves fans a little exhausted. It’s inevitable for fans to be exhausted a couple hours in, but it’s kind of hard to complain about any of these matches. Here are my card order and outcome predictions for the Grandest Stage of Them All.

(note: I haven't read any spoilers or rumors, these are just guesses)

Pre-Show

source: WWE

WrestleMania Women’s Battle Royal Match

Winner: Becky Lynch or Naomi

The battle royals are probably the hardest to predict because there are, like, 20 or 30 possibilities. We don’t even know all of the participants in this or the men’s battle royal match, so my predictions could be completely invalidated by an NXT superstar coming up or a surprise return.

Becky Lynch is on the cusp of stardom—she was the first Smackdown Women’s champion and she’s proved her in-ring prowess as well as her charisma on Smackdown in the past year. She deserves this opportunity, probably even more than anyone else.

Naomi is the most athletic person on WWE’s roster, men included. I believe that, if done right, this match can elevate her or Becky even more, and one of them can challenge for the Women’s title next.

Possible surprise appearances: the Iconic Duo (Peyton Royce and Billie Kay), Candice LeRae, Kaitlin, the Bella Twins, Zelina Vega, Beth Phoenix

source: WWE

Cedric Alexander vs. Mustafa Ali

Cruiserweight Championship Match

Winner: Mustafa Ali

I feel like since the Cruiserweight tournament was announced, it was almost certain that Cedric Alexander would make it to the finals, if not win the whole thing. I assumed that he would face Drew Gulak in the finals, and I was surprised when Ali beat Gulak to advance to the finals.

In the past couple months, we’ve seen great improvement in Ali’s character. He’s now very much a babyface, holding his daughter after his matches and really pointing out that people said he couldn’t make it because he is of Pakistani descent. WWE is emphasizing that as much as they can without getting political.

If this angle was on the main shows any more, he wouldn’t be the underdog in this match. I think Ali has more than proved himself, and anyone who watches 205 Live every week has seen his fantastic matches with Gulak, Alexander, and more.

This match definitely deserves to be on the main card, but it’s not surprising that it’s not. It’s clear that the Cruiserweight division just isn’t valued the same way as other divisions, which is disappointing. But I know Ali and Alexander will take any opportunity and run with it, making this a great match.

source: WWE

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Winner: “Woken” Matt Hardy

I honestly have no idea who’s gonna win this match—it could go so many ways. I decided that I want Hardy to win, though, because after his Ultimate Deletion with Bray Wyatt, Hardy has just kind of been at a standstill. WWE needs to take this opportunity to repackage Wyatt and have him and Brother Nero become key members of this match.

WWE have never made the “Woken” Unviverse as a priority, so putting it on the pre-show makes the pre-show interesting and provides character development. They can bring back Brother Nero, too, and, if they wanted to fully use this opportunity, they could have Matt’s Woken family at ringside.

Possible surprise appearances: various mid-card legends, Brother Nero, Bray Wyatt, B-list celebrities

Main Card

source: WWE

The Miz vs. Seth Rollins vs. Finn Bálor

Intercontinental Championship Match

Winner: Finn Bálor

Kicking off the main show with three of the biggest superstars of this generation will get fans excited and ready for the five-hour event. All three of these men could easily main event a pay per view today, but with the full card, they’re bringing more prestige to the IC title.

With everything going on in Miz’s live at the moment, he deserves a break. He’s been the Intercontinental Champion for almost a record time, and winning the title would likely make him the longest reigning champion. However, if he steps back and stays home for a couple months to, I don’t know, spend time with his daughter or something, he can return with a vengeance and go after the WWE or Universal Title, or even come face to face with Daniel Bryan.

Finn Bálor’s title opportunities have been long overdue. After being stripped of the Universal title a day after winning it due to injury, Finn hasn’t held a title on the main roster. Of all 3 men, Bálor would benefit most from a title reign.

source: WWE

The Usos vs. The New Day vs. The Bludgeon Brothers

Smackdown Tag Team Championship Match

Winner: Bludgeon Brothers

After their hot streak in recent weeks, it makes no sense for Harper and Rowan to lose at Mania. Usos and New Day are both great teams, but neither necessarily need to hold the tag team championships.

If WWE wants to push the Bludgeon Brothers, they’ll give them the championships. The SmackDown tag division is exponentially better than Raw’s, and teams need to switch up in the next month or so. Keeping the titles away from those teams allows them freedom to move around.

source: WWE

Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax

Raw Women’s Championship Match

Winner: Nia Jax

With all of the horrible things Alexa and Mickie have said about Nia, it would not look good for Alexa to win clean. WWE is involved with several anti-bullying campaigns and charities. Having Alexa barely get away from Nia in their last interactions makes Alexa look terrified, and it really makes it seem like Nia could squash her.

Putting the title on Nia after a short match (maybe 1-2 minutes) could be seen as a disappointment as the women’s matches are actually valued now and are no longer short ones, but there are 3 other women’s matches in WrestleMania. It wouldn’t harm Alexa much, as she has been actively afraid of Nia and could easily bounce back.

source: WWE

source: WWE

Daniel Bryan & Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn

Winner: Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon

There is no possible way that Bryan loses in his return. Of all of the exciting matches going on on the show, this is what fans are most excited about. Everyone wants the underdog to return and have another great WrestleMania moment, and his momentum is huge.

Along with everyone else, I will be holding my breath with every one of Daniel Bryan’s moves. If Bryan and McMahon are able to banish KO and Sami from Smackdown, they can travel to Raw and cause havoc—or even team up with an authority figure. In the meantime before the shake-up, they can stir the pot with social media posts and even maybe show up at indy shows.

source: WWE

Sheamus & Cesaro vs. Braun Strowman and a partner of his choosing

Raw Tag Team Championship Match

Winner: Braun Strowman and his partner

As of now, we still don’t know Strowman’s partner (unless his “brother” Brains” is actually his partner). I’m going to guess that even though he’s not allowed to, he’ll go at it alone against Sheamus and Cesaro. This would mean he has not one, but TWO partners—these hands.

Braun beats the Bar and puts both tag titles on his enormous shoulders. They’d probably still look kind of small on him, but that would be even funnier. While he hasn’t been any less dominant in recent months, Strowman has had a lot of “goofy” moments. If he starts to have issues with Kurt Angle and Stephanie McMahon, he could possibly get some of his badass-ness back and somehow look even more like a force to be reckoned with.

source: WWE

Randy Orton vs. Bobby Roode vs Jinder Mahal vs. Rusev

United States Championship Match

Winner: Rusev

This is the time for Bobby Roode to turn heel. I don’t know how they’ll do it, and I don’t really care, but Bobby has always been better as a heel and could really make an impact. His title reign was cut short by Randy Orton, which never made much sense to me.

Orton with the title is boring and I forgot he even had the title a couple times. It doesn’t really make sense for Mahal to have the title. Rusev Day is undoubtedly the most popular gimmick on Smackdown, and sometimes chants for Rusev Day take over other segments and shows. Rusev is red hot and having him win in the middle of the show will pump up the crowd and get everyone excited.

source: WWE

Kurt Angle & Ronda Rousey vs. Triple H & Stephanie McMahon

Winner: Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey

There’s no way that Ronda Rousey is losing her debut at WrestleMania. Triple H and Stephanie are always going to be dominant, and taking a loss at WrestleMania means virtually nothing—the next night, they could go on TV and cut a diabolical promo and fire someone or do something heel-ish.

All eyes are on Ronda Rousey for her debut, and I think she’ll deliver. Hopefully, she’s in good hands with Triple H and Kurt, and going against Stephanie means that neither of them will spend a whole lot of time in the ring, leaving less room for error.

source: WWE

Charlotte Flair vs. Asuka

Smackdown Women’s Championship Match

Winner: Asuka

This match could steal the show. Both Asuka and Charlotte are incredible in the ring, and their back and forth will keep fans wondering who’s going to win. In the end, I think the streak will outweigh the champion, but not for long.

After a hard fought match, Asuka’s music plays and both women are tired. Then, other music hits- Carmella’s. She either runs down the long ramp or appears from under the ring to avoid the running, finally cashes in her Money in the Bank contract, weaseling her way into a victory. Asuka’s streak is over at the hands of the Princess of Staten Island.

Carmella could lose the title the next day, but by ending Asuka’s legendary streak, Mella has the biggest heat in the entire company.

source: WWE

Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns

WWE Universal Championship Match

Winner: Roman Reigns

It’s time. Lesnar needs to finally lose something in WWE. He’s been built to be unstoppable for decades, and even without the last few months of feuding with Reigns, it makes sense for Reigns to win. Roman could have beat him three years ago, but Seth Rollins cashed in his MITB and took the title from both of them.

Lesnar is being portrayed as the guy who doesn’t wanna come to work and as someone who isn’t truly passionate about WWE, which is probably honestly true. For once, I think he’ll go out on his back (in less than 10 minutes, obviously) and surrender the title. For weeks, he’s gotten the upper hand on Reigns, and it’s time for Roman to finally get his comeuppance.

The reason this match won’t be going last is because it’s obvious that many fans will be disappointed by Roman’s winning the Universal Championship. He has a large group of haters still, and making him victorious isn’t going to help his case. If other matches go after this one, WWE can avoid fans leaving the show angry.

source: WorldNews

John Cena vs. the Undertaker

Winner: Undertaker

It’s a foregone conclusion that Undertaker will show up at WrestleMania. With Kid Rock going into the Hall of Fame Friday, WWE could generate some buzz by hinting at an Undertaker appearance. Perhaps Kid Rock could come out to Undertaker’s “Dead Man Walking” theme, or could drop a hint in his speech. Not only would that progress the story, it would make the HOF more bearable and drive more people to watch on the Network or to watch the condensed version on USA.

Saving this match until later gives it a main event feel and can open up opportunities for non-match segments with John Cena in the crowd, acting as a “fan” after he said he would buy a ticket several times. Near the end, Cena could call out Taker or Taker could ride his motorcycle down the ramp and right up to Cena’s front row spot.

Taker could go out on top in possibly his last match ever, shutting Cena up for calling him a coward, disrespectful, etc.

source: WWE

AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

WWE Championship Match

Winner: Shinsuke Nakamura

This should be the real main event. No matter who wins, fans can go home happy. The “dream match” is sort of the core of wrestling itself—two men who want to prove that they are better than each other. Both guys are unable to put on a bad match, but it’s Nakamura’s time to shine.

AJ has had the title for a while, and losing it to Shinsuke can free him up if they want him to move to Raw. This could be the match of the year, so I think anyone watching WrestleMania is the real winner.